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Time to go...

I've tried to get used to this new layout, I really have, but it's no good - I think it's crap. My pictures have disappeared, there are loads of curious bits and pieces of text where there were none before and the whole thing is just more bother than it's worth.

Oh, and it's way more irritating to use than the old 20six and just not worth the effort.

So I'm offski.

You can find me here: http://www.platform27.co.uk/OneIdeaPerDay

Laters...

22.6.06 14:42


Invent your own charity - part 2, etc.

 

2. The name/logo.


 

If you’re read my other blog, you’ll know what I think of the name and logo of The Stroke Association. Not much. I think that we can do much better. Oh yes.

 

Since we’re talking about stroke, I want to have stroke somewhere in the title. Let’s do a bit of brainstorming. What matters it that it’s eye catching and memorable.


 

‘Stroke My Penis’


 


No, no – not THAT memorable! And I’m not sure that it really gives off the right message.


 


‘Strokes R US’


 


Oh don’t be silly. Anyway – they already exist (I kid you not)


  


‘Breakthrough Stroke’


 


Hmm, catchy, but the name is a little too similar to Breakthrough Breast Cancer, I feel.


 


‘Different Strokes’


 


Ha, ha, very amusing – but they already exist as well


 


OK, this is going nowhere. Clearly we need to try a different tack. Ah ha – that’s it! Tack. Or rather – attack. A stroke is also known as a brain attack (just as a myocardial infarction is known as a heart attack).


 


‘Brain Attack!’


 


It’s eye-catching, memorable, and relevant to stroke. And it’s not listed by the charity commission. Cool.


 


Amazing what a bit of brainstorming can do.


 


As to the logo – I’ve had enough of logos (see my other blog for that) so this will have to do:


 


Yeah, I know, crap – still, better than The Stroke Association logo – arf!


 


3. The celebrity endorsement


 


All the best charities have a decent celeb endorsing their work. In fact, if you’ve got a good enough cause, you’ll be fighting them off. And let’s face it, even if you haven’t, you’re bound to find some out-of-work luvvie or desperate C list celeb who will be willing to endorse you, media whores that they are.


 


We need someone of the moment, someone who is recognizable and currently ‘in’, but above all, we need someone who is cheap and desperate for publicity – I know, that media tart off Celebrity Big Brother.


 


No, not Chantelle, you need a brain to have a brain attack.


 


I’m talking about “Gorgeous George” - George Galloway, MP. His father died of a brain attack (aka stroke) so he makes an ideal celeb – and he fits the other criteria!


 


4. You create a fundraising event that requires minimal planning but maximises income.


 


Something snappy needed here, something like ‘Race for Life’ (Cancer) or ‘Genes for Jeans’ (Genetic disorders) or Denim for Diabetes (go on, guess what this is for!).


 


How about ‘Sex for Stroke’ ?


 


Just like Race for Life – lots of women getting together and having a good time whilst raising money for charity - but it involves sex rather than walking. Sounds good to me!


 


Well, as long as we leave it there and don’t try to fill in any unnecessary detail, such as the fact that few people, if any, will want to have a sponsored shag for charity.


 


And I’m getting bored.


 


5. You sit back and watch the money roll in. 


 


Yeah, right – as if that’s going to happen.


 


Now then, how do I get The Queen to become Patron of ‘Brain Attack’…?


 

15.3.06 13:57


Invent your own charity

 


We?ve had invent your own superhero, invent your own martial art and invent your own faddy diet, but now OneIdeaPerDay is proud to present?.invent your own charity!


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Now, you may think that inventing you own charity involves the following three steps.


 


1. You find a good cause that is underrepresented or not represented at all.


2. You apply to the Charity Commission to become a properly registered charity.


3. You start fundraising and with a lot of effort and a little luck you raise sufficient funds to finance your chosen project.


 


But this is not the way to create a successful charity at all. Oh no.


 


These are the REAL steps towards creating your own charity.


 


1. You find a cause that cannot fail to bring in the green stuff.


2. You choose a suitably catchy name/logo.


3. You get celebrity endorsement


4. You create a fundraising event that requires minimal planning but maximises income.


5. You sit back and watch the money roll in. 


 


1. The cause


 


What we?re talking about here is a real cash cow: cancer or heart disease, for example. Basically something that is incurable, or at least looks very hard to cure, and that will affect the greatest number of people in the nastiest way. This way, people will be practically falling over themselves to give you money to find a cure or effective treatment. 


 


Now don?t be put off by the fact that someone else has thought of the idea first and set up there own charity. Someone is bound to have down. So what? Just look at all the breast cancer charities - loads of them* and yet they all make a tidy profit raise good money for breast cancer research. When they were first starting up, did they stop to ask why they were needed when the Imperial Cancer Research Fund and Cancer Research Campaign already spent millions of pounds on breast cancer research? Of course not. They spotted a potential gap in the market and went for it.


 


So, first - choose your cause.


 


Mine, for obvious reasons if you?ve been paying attention over the last month, will be stroke and related illnesses. Third biggest killer after 1) cancer (which is really several diseases anyway) and 2) heart disease and a bigger killer of women than breast cancer (3 times as many women die of stroke as die of breast cancer) How can it fail to make money??!


 


 


* The Charity Commission list the following breast cancer charities:


 


Breast Cancer Campaign 


Breast Cancer Care


Breast Cancer Haven


Breast Cancer Hope


Breast Cancer Research Trust


The Breast Cancer Survival Trust


Breakthrough Breast Cancer


 


Part 2 on 15th March (OK, I edited that bit).


 


 

16.2.06 14:10


Landfill Shmandfill

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Today?s idea is to join Freecycle and cut down on landfill waste.


 


What is Freecycle? It?s basically a group of recyclers who?s aim is to keep as many goods out of landfill sites as possible by trying to find new homes amongst the freecycle community for unwanted items.


 


Freecycle started, not surprisingly, in the good ol? US of A but they now have groups all over the world, with many in the UK, and even one in Reading!


 


So, when Mrs Perday and myself decided to replace our fridge/freezer (as it?s too small for our needs), but did not wish it to be dumped in some hole in the ground, especially as it works perfectly well, we posted a note on the Reading Freecycle group page. Come this weekend it will be with its proud new owner. It?s that simple.


 


So, the next time you come to replace your fridge, cooker, table, wardrobe, etc., don?t throw it out ? contact the Freecyle group in your area and give it a new home!


 


Yes, yes, I know. I?m an old beardy Greeny. Well, don?t be fooled ? I still think that global warming is a load of old cock.

3.2.06 14:38


Stand and Deliver!

Today's idea is to find out what hideous crimes your (possible) ancestors and relatives committed in the distant past by checking out The Proceedings of the Old Bailey.


A search on my surname brought up a man found guilty of highway robbery in 1767! Oh yeah, baby, I have a dangerous past. You'd better believe it. Anyway, he was executed, so may not have been able to pass on his criminal genes. Another possible relative was accused of theft in 1810, but she was found not guilty, the lucky cow. Not so lucky was another man involved in the case, Samuel Emden, as the following rather ghastly exchange shows:


Q. You were sworn at the office upon the New Testament - A. I was.


Q. You being a Jew do not like the New Testament - A. That I deny.


Q. My question is, whether you believe the New Testament - A. I believe it so much; I believe that a great part of the New Testament is made out of the Old Testament, and that I am bound upon oath to the Supreme God to speak the truth.


Q. Are you a Christian or a Jew - A. I am of the Jewish persuasion.


Q. You think it the same thing to swear by the Holy Gospels as by the Old Testament - A. I answer, I swear by the Supreme Being, if I swear by either, or both the books, my oath is binding to me.


COURT. You know the nature of an oath - if you swear by the New Testament, you swear believing the contents of that book, and that Christ is God; now as a Jew (if you are a Jew) that is inconsistent. - You are not a Christian - a man that does not believe the Godhead of Christ is not a Christian - A. If I have been in an error, I believe that in swearing, so help me God, I swear by the Supreme Being, my oath is binding to me.


Q. If you are a Jew, do you believe it to be the same thing to swear upon the five books of Moses, as upon the Evangelists - A. I did answer that. I certainly do believe I am bound to speak the truth on one book as well as the other. I believe Jesus Christ to be a prophet.


Q. You believe Jesus Christ to be a prophet, then you are a Mahometan; he believed in the New Testament; he did not believe Jesus Christ to be God - A. I believe him to be a great man - a very great prophet.


Emden was the one who accused the girl of stealing his property, but the court decided that he had made it up to recover for free items he had pawned. It seems to, reading the proceedings, that they were more concerned with his being Jewish than anything else. Most extraordinary.


So, go and check it out. If you have a common surname, then put in your full name, or the names of your friends. A search of Mrs Perday's surname brings up grand larceny in 1685, shoplifting in 1725 and murder (!) in 1743 amongst other things.


Gives 'what our ancestors did for us' a whole new meaning.

2.2.06 09:32


Happy Birthday - again!

Seeing this entry has made me realise that I've been blogging for 2 years now. Cor blimey.


There've been a few changes in that time. Looper is no more. Selfish appears to be lying low. Gamba disappeared and then reappeared. Pog became Poggle. Not sure of the significance of that last one. And much, much more besides. I even posted a few ideas.


And I've created a new blog: The Cheeselog Blog. It's arisen phoenix-like out of the ashes of my old blog 'Not One Idea' and will be about any old crap that I want to write about that does not concern ideas. OIPD will remain the ideas blog, and no other crap.


I'm working from home today and have done absolutely NO WORK. IKEA came and delivered my new kitchen, minus all the hinges and several of the doors. Hmmm. Still, it's a lovely sunny day outside, even if it is cold as buggery. And that's all for the moment. In future, tedious meandering crap such as this will appear on the Cheeseblog, and wonderful, creative, inspiring, orgasmic ideas will appear here.


Watch this space.

31.1.06 14:32


Meet the ancestors!


Today's idea is to found out where you came from or where people who share your surname live now!


SImply go to this website.


Then click on the 'search for a surname' on the right link to open the Surname Profiler.


Type in your surname and pick a date - 1880 or 1998 - to see a map of where your ancestors were 120 years ago or where your relatives (!) are now.


My family were mostly found in one small part of Yorkshire and around Cumberland in 1881, and are now (well, 1998) mostly spread out around Cumbria.


Northern bastards. Actually, I knew that already. That they were northern, I mean, not that they were bastards.


More ideas next week!

20.1.06 12:37


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